The friendship with an ex is an issue on which everyone seems to have an opinion. For some it is impossible; for others, a good idea but utopian; a few get a sincere friendship. There are relations of all kinds and also ex-relations for everyone. Some, those in which there is still a residue of sincere affection beyond the end of romantic love, can lead to a new reality in which there are many things that ye may do for each other. It is not easy, not at all: it requires effort and not lose sight of the goal if you do not want to lose touch with that person that was so important to you.
Put aside the reproaches
Not constantly turning to what worked, what did not work and, above all, who was the culprit, never leads to anything good. If one of the two is unable to overcome the rancor, friendship is impossible and also probably not worth it.
Accept a new reality
After a transition period more or less long time, both former accept the new reality. Or that would be ideal, and not for the sake of others, but of oneself. In this new reality, we will not be the most important person in the life of another, we will not see our future at his side … Have we lost a part of something that we wanted, but we can build something new together.
Respect what you lived
Anyone who has spent a rupture knows their stages of grief in which the whole relationship seems a great dreadful mistake and others in which only remember the rainbow gummy and dances in the light of the moon. Only time gives perspective to assess that, like everything, there was good and bad. Respect memories it is a wonderful thing that ye may do for each other.
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Fill the space
One of the most complicated things the end of a relationship is to create new routines. In some cases, there are much accustomed to certain habits go hand to the other person-years. Let’s call that we put a shelf, make us chicken meatballs or join us to visit Aunt of the people. One day it every week … no. The two need space to rebuild your lives.
Respect you in public
It’s easy, very easy, tempted to make a coven with friends to criticize a former. Falling into the facile insult about someone one day consider the ideal person to share our life is a form of insult to oneself. Even if you please post-separation have no relationship, respect you as people will always be a way of emotional intelligence.
Accept your new partner
The moment one of the two has another couple is perhaps the greatest litmus test by passing a friendship between former partners. Even the most prepared you can give a pinprick of jealousy or that so regurgitation harmful of “what does this / this had not I?”. Remove that question from our minds and accept the new partner is a great mutual Please that you can do.
Not make anyone choose
When a couple separates, the environment tends to choose. Most stay with the closest, others look guilty and empathize with the victim. Would not it be simpler if all anyone had to choose? If, though not even be friends, at least, share courtesy when we come to share time with the people we have in common?
Do not give hope Second Party
One of the major obstacles to overcome a break is to keep the hope of a reconciliation. If everything has been already broken, even if made retries failed … the best way forward is, to be honest, and not give the left the hope of reviving something that we no longer believe. It will be tough, the temptation to leave the door open will be great, but sincerity will always be a gift that will end up thinking.
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Rejoice in the success of another
Oh, what a temptation so bad that of having envy when something goes well the other. If you have a professional success and will celebrate to New York when your good times it you came just cash for a getaway weekend at a cottage. Those things that give us a flash of inner evil. And evil does not do us any good. If there is some affection for you, why not celebrate the mutual successes?
Hobbies that only you know
There are times when our personal neuroses only the get to know the person with whom we live. And we will not forget for having signed divorce. So if you know you have the flu and you will only pass the disgust with homemade soup, Fix up Tupperware and show that while in the distance, you still consolidate.
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In another way. No romantic love. Dreamless shared future. Without jealousy. No hard feelings. Have a good time. Have fun. Laugh together. As with any friend. One that you shared the past and a lot of nice things.
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