Attachment and forms of relationship

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Attachment and early experiences have a decisive influence on the adult personality. The forms of relation that adults represent repetitions of the primary relationships reflect the links created.

The first psychiatrist to use this term is seeking proximity to the mother or cared, leading to intense anxiety about separation.

The absolute dependence that occurs at birth is declining, but the attachment (seeking proximity to the other) is maintained throughout life. It is important; therefore it differentiates dependence of attachment.

The way to do that search the other differs in each person, since childhood a form of relationship with the other set.

There are four types of attachment…

Secure attachment: Babies explore actively while they are alone with the attachment figure, and can visibly uneasy when separated from her. Often the baby greets with affection attachment figure when he returns, and if you are very restless, try to come into physical contact with her. These babies are sociable with strangers while the mother is present.

Ambivalent attachment: Babies try to stay close to the attachment figure and explore little while she is present. Much disturbed when she leaves, but when he returns his reaction is ambivalent: it remains in your area, but can resist physical contact with her ​​showing upset by the abandonment. They are extremely cautious with strangers, even in the presence of the attachment figure.

Avoidant attachment: Express little upset when separated from the attachment figure and generally shun it when it comes back but try to gain your attention. They tend to be sociable with strangers but can ignore them in the same way to avoid their attachment figure when he returns.

Read also: What is Love?

Disorganized / disoriented attachment: A combination of strong attachment patterns and avoidant attachment. The baby may appear confusing standing still or coming away then abruptly as the attachment figure approaches.

As infants escape situations or objects alarming seeking safety in a person or object / situation, also adults looking for that security react to situations they perceive as dangerous. The fear of loss or separation occurs in humans by virtue of being, as we link. We are social beings.

According to psychiatrist, early experiences of frustration and gratification play a key role in the internal dynamics of the child. There are several types of anxieties (positions), one characterized by fear of persecution, being attacked or damaged and one characterized by the fear of loss and guilt.

This, either one or another form of anxiety is in relation to the other, because we damage or harm them or lose them.


Forms of relationship as the built complementary roles, respond to forms of relationship, that is, if a person behaves as a caregiver in another as care.






Independent and secure


Fusion dependence










Mature forced


Submissive, angry

Read also: 6 tips to maintain a healthy relationship

The vast majority of relational operations we have acquired, as established social habits are formed. The review of our relationships to transform health and healthy love ties is essential.

Become aware of how we relate to other people, and in turn, the way our early life marked us.

However awareness involves mobilizing emotions and feelings related to our past dysfunctional relationships. Most likely, when we feel trapped or threatened in old patterns that we exercising continuously since our childhood.

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