The other day I met with some friends and ended up talking about the same thing, couple relationships and how difficult it is not to argue.
How nice it is to live in harmony with oneself and others is not as simple but it can get. Living together is difficult but also worthwhile, so this week I want to give you five tips to not discuss with friends.
There is a saying that I like a lot and says: “Do not argue with a fool because first, you will go down to their level and then hit you with their experience,” if this is applied to problems in the couple the best when we have a discussion is not continue the same, if not try to rescue our partner the so silly spiral where it has gone. Many times it becomes difficult to get, so I want to give these five tips for the next time you do not expect the same situation does not become a war.
1) Take a deep breath and count to ten: If your partner starts to argue for any reason, usually something small, do not go to kill. Count to ten, breathe, do not respond and think about your interior so it is perhaps enfolded not for that little detail but by something deeper that has not told you, as you have had a bad day at work, you are tired, you have argued with someone different from you … you are not the reason for the discussion but you are the person who has more confidence to let off steam.
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2) Put yourself in their shoes: Before now what we lack is empathy, not knowing get in the skin of the other. Sometimes we let things by mouth and do not think how we would set us if we say the same thing. Before saying something ugly, shut your mouth. There is another saying that I like “closed mouth catches no flies” so you better think what you’re going to say and if not nicer than let silence is the silence that prevails.
3) You are not at war: Discussions couple is not a battlefield, do not think you’re going to win anything being right, may win the “battle” but the consequence is that you lose your partner. So you do not start a discussion thinking about winning it because all they’ll do is lose anyway and may lose the most precious, your partner.
4) Wait another time: Maybe you’re now thinking that you do not want to stop giving your opinion and do not want to keep quiet when your partner is saying things that are not real or with which you disagree. And I do not want you, but find a more appropriate time and with good words tell your partner what you thought of that day and what your opinion is.
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5) Use in the principle of parsimony: Which is to say that equal the theory is simpler tends to be almost always correct. If you have not called you all day or have not written you what’s up and tells you that he has been very busy all day, do not think you’ve been with someone else. Of course, if every day is giving the same excuse, it may not be true, but if it only happens very occasionally uses this principle.
Anyway, I have always said, and I reiterate, that the discussions are not bad if you learn from them. I hope that with these five tips do not argue like you finest in a war; your partner is not your enemy.
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