One of the worst enemies within any relationship is a lie. The loss of confidence is able to break up the entrenched relationship, not just a couple, but friendship, work or family. After lying to the related person it will be much harder to trust you and believe you. Inside this little break, called disappointment, you can take its toll and have worse consequences than a painful truth.
However, we all make mistakes and it is important to assess the severity of the lie before taking a radical decision. In LifeStyleQA we believe in second chances, therefore, in the following article we will try to explain how to forgive a lie. Follow our tips and you will achieve restore confidence in the person who has disappointed you.
Before taking any rash decision and before breaking a relationship because of a lie, it is essential to hear their version that the other side has to say. First, to make sure what is the the real truth and, secondly, to try to find out what led to the lie. Sometimes the mistake is small, but the desire to hide – either by shame, for fear of reprisals or confidence – can lead to more serious consequences. Therefore, it is essential to discover the reason for this lie.
Communication: It is important it is to listen and talk about it. If you are willing to understand and even forgive a lie, it is essential that the person who has failed you really know how you feel, only then will one become aware of what he or she has done. If the problem has exploded in a relationship, we recommend you read our article on improving communication of the couple where you’ll find advice.
It is important to hear and to be heard but measure the time to conduct this discussion. It is not advisable when you just speak out about the betrayal, you’ll get even more nervous and discussion can go to dirt and harsh words on both sides. It is better to leave a few days of reflection and carry out the conversation when you’re ready to listen to the other party and willing to understand and comprehend the most of your betrayal.
“You may also like to read another article on LifeStyleQA: How to forgive betrayal“
Assume your fault. Although it may seem crazy, often we provoke the betrayal of someone else. They may feel distant, inaccessible to us, shielded from our confidence, we did not paid enough attention, that we have allowed miscommunication is installed between us… There are many reasons why a person can lie. Therefore, it is important to assume your share of responsibility if you decide to take the plunge and forgive betrayal.
Sometimes it is difficult to express what one feels without hurting the other. This time, both parties will have to be prepared to hear things you do not like and to take your share of the blame, only then can reach the merits and repair any damage caused. It is important to speak clearly but without specifically trying to hurt. Simply, it is to emphasize your feelings, your pain, and your disappointment to seek sincere repentance of the other person.
If you decide to forgive you must do it with your whole hear. Not only to say it in words, but you must be consistent with your actions and decisions. The fact of the matter is that forgiveness of a lie is supposed to replenish the trust in each other. We know that is something that is achieved with time and effort but you should not criticize or propose distrust to the first shift or the slightest detail that you suspect this.
In the case of romantic relationships this can be a bit complicated especially if third parties have appeared. In this article we tell you how to restore confidence in the couple so that you have in mind some tips to help you overcome this bump.
Maintain control, be patient and gradually redeposit confidence, the keys to forgive a lie. Of course, the other side you will see an effort to re-earn your trust and mend the error. Remember it is you, who are forgiving the damage you have caused you, so you should test the loyalty of the other person.
“You may also like to read another article on LifeStyleQA: Control your emotions“
A plan can help. In what sense? Very simple! When restoring confidence and things back into place, it is likely that the person who made the mistake must go through some penance. So just you make him or her understand that, unconsciously, you control his movements and words.
Yet, do not be hard if you do not want the relationship to be broken altogether in the future. Within this emergency plan to restore confidence may have terms that you work both as communication, time together or confidence: tell things without reproach.
If however, you decide to follow through on your plan to forgive a lie, you should be trying to make a clean slate. Do not look for any excuse to remember what he did wrong to blame all the damage he did to you or to reproach their mistakes. The decision to forgive should be deep and must bear the consequences of this act of love, understanding and confidence if you want to eventually do not lie again.
In case, it is a very difficult situation to bring to you, you can resort to the help of professionals. Psychological treatments and couples therapies or family, will help to remedy the situation so that you can manage and have control over it and get well, to feel at peace and to forgive a lie.
Leave a Reply