Overcoming the separation or divorce

Separation or divorce
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To overcome the separation or divorce is necessary to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise, rather than trying to stop them, stop them or avoid them.

The separations are difficult and painful and more for people who do not want it, even when the relationship is impaired do not see separation a solution and sometimes the separation comes suddenly and can do nothing to prevent it are left to face it and live it as painlessly as possible.

To overcome the separation or divorce is necessary to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise, rather than try to stop them, stop them or avoid them with occupations, food, drugs, alcohol, work or whatever away and avoid feeling the pain, there to identify what you feel and that intensity to gradually go driving and controlling those emotions. Do not be overwhelmed and wearing an exaggerated way, but we must not avoid emotions, because if it not be stuck in the duel for much longer.

What to do?

It is advisable to surround yourself and talk with friends, family and even go to psychotherapy or emotional support, also helps the advice of a religious that brings wealth to the new lifestyle presented. They should also consider aspects such as the new way of living; if you have children with former partner will have to negotiate agreements. And for any reason it is advisable to let off steam with the children, much less speak ill of another because the damage is caused to the children it is very serious.

The positive separation or divorce

You can see the new situation as an opportunity for growth and learning to reach a development and self-awareness of their own potential, it’s time to do all that is left to do for a couple to be had.

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There are times that are left aside personal activities and own interests attention to the couple, either because he did not like, he did not agree or no time and disposition. It is time to frequent the places and people that were left to be with the couple, improving grooming, improve the image, begin the project that was pending. Live differently oriented development and personal growth.

Have to avoid

To overcome a separation or divorce worst thing you can do is avoid the situation by seeking emotional Band-Aids, where it hides what feels and feign or pretend that nothing happens, since emotions clogged and contained too much at any time will more pressure and intensity, is like waving a gas, will open when all the accumulated pressure. Nor should seek a new partner before having overcome the grief.

The stages of divorce are…

  • Pre Divorce, it’s totally emotional, here you get to a level of deep reflection where a physical separation decision is taken, and it is called emotional divorce. To reach this final stage can take years and there are even divorced couples who have not separated emotionally and unconsciously still connected.
  • Legal Divorce at this stage begin to process all legal documents and if there are no documents, just separate and everyone continues with their issues and no issues or situations in common.
  • Post divorce is what is known as mourning and as a bachelor again. Usually begins after legal proceedings, change of address or physical separation, because when you are in the process of change is still not mourning is presented in full, the stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance.

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It is very important this stage that the divorce was finally materialize when the psychological divorce is given, that is to say when full acceptance of separation have and feelings are neutral free of anger, resentment, bitterness, loneliness, abandonment, desire for revenge, jealousy, etc.

The most important thing to consider is that life goes on and so immense pain can be overcome, “nothing is forever” and the passage of time will look like a more experience. It is recommended that if it is detected that is stuck in a stage of grief counseling is sought to work it and overcome it.

When the neutral emotions have and the past as one more event and a lifetime experience where they can continue without knowing the other person is, is that libero or already gave the feeling to be had on the other, then it is time to prepare for a new romantic relationship. That is not already bound by the past.

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