“The more we allow space and animes in a relationship, that relationship will improve.” Wayne W. Dyer
Traditional norms imposed that incompatible couples together continue united for the sake of their children, at least until they were adults. Education was the first role of the family and was met in the shelter of the coexistence of parents. Remember what traditionally imposed Catholicism on marriage, “till death do us part”. This has caused many of our ancestors continue together since it was impossible to consider a marriage breakdown because it was frowned upon.
Many people reading this paragraph nod who have lost their lives next to someone who had already stopped wanting simply because the rules so imposed. I myself had to put up with incomprehension on the part of my parents and grandparents to explain my decision to break the betrothal that had just acquired not make sense of my own personal growth next to that person who years earlier had filled me with happiness. Today, individuals put their own fulfillment to his father ‘s mission, many think that incompatible couples deserve the opportunity to free themselves to find a better person and more emotional satisfaction. To this, it is added that, divorcing and exercising paternity separately, growth and self – realization of everyone, adults and children is encouraged.
The decision to undo the couple is a crucial moment in married life and family. The end of a marriage or cohabitation, both partners requires immediate staking a life shared until that day, and may have some effect, positive or negative, on parents and children. Many people believe that having children should stay together for the sake of them and that’s not entirely true. For a child is much better than their parents are separated if it gives them a personal wellness which will improve relations with the child according to their emotional maturity. Parents continue to play its role with higher quality separately as if they were together just for the sake of having a child because their own dissatisfaction emerge in the education of their children.
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Today, we tend to privilege personal happiness about family, which, if a marriage is not satisfactory, it is not considered itself bound to stay together for the sake of the children.
The change of the male and female roles in recent decades causes increased marital instability in our time.
The more women outside the home, fewer children have worked, has received more education, self – esteem has increased, their ideas on the distribution of family roles it is less traditional and is easier than separation occurs. In families where the husband has lost his job, sexual problems, are heightened self – esteem, alcohol abuse or drug and cases of violence are increasing. In the violent behavior it is possible for man to find a substitute for the lost (in their eyes) and by decreasing their job prospects virility. Masculinity also is associated with control over others and himself: man is destined to action, it cannot afford to be weak, vulnerable appear and feel like a woman.
Modern couples may be particularly rich, stimulating and happy when members share a life together, but have a high risk of failure if that limit the personal development of each. Personal development is today an important goal that still haunts coast of breaks, transfers, job changes, acquiring new skills and self-analysis. In this process, the loss and grief accompanying the growth and affirmation of individuality.
It is considered that the loving bond is the appropriate way to achieve personal life project, which is the fundamental objective of individuals in our society. When a bond is broken, it is normal to want to not suffer more, freeing themselves from the relationship unsatisfactory, and find a way to live more pleasant, alone or with another couple.
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The emotional separation may appear long before physical separation. It begins when one of the partners noted the deterioration of the relationship and try to remedy it, but to no avail. Gradually, the spouse in crisis loses hope that things will improve and begins to imagine not worth keeping the link. Hatred, jealousy, anger and other negative feelings are defense reactions to pain and anguish felt by peers who are left on the other, but they are still united in the emotional aspect. As refuse to accept the end, many of them try to exorcise the pain and accuse the former partner or the world; they feed revenge and anger and resentment build up. Falling in love is one of the most desired and feared at the same time experiences; because, being extremely enriching for personal growth, if love dies, it can cause very serious damage to our psyche and block our development.
For some, the end of a relationship is an intolerable and unacceptable episode; a failure that causes serious guilt. This phenomenon appears particularly when only one spouse wants to break the union, and the other, which perhaps has not received the deterioration of the relationship, is surprised by this decision. However, time and self-analysis make the separation was finally living as a need to improve our personal growth.
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