Tips to keep relationships alive

Over time, the routine seems to become a great enemy of relationships. Always the same gestures, the same words, the same situations … are factors that are causing feelings of indifference or boredom, wearing what once was an idyll of perfect love. But what can we do? How to keep up the famous flame of love?

Generally, at the stage of dating, we live the relationship more intense and euphoric way, disconnected from social reality and living for some time on our own. Gradually, we come back to re-connect, trying to surprise our companion / a variety of ways, through “small details” that give vividness and the tone of surprise to the relationship. For example, a call at an inconvenient time, give flowers, give gifts, movies, invitations to lunch or dinner, do some traveling, sharing a hobby or leisure activity, write a letter or SMS, as well as kissing, fondling, including own sexual experimentation and seduction strategies, etc.

These small details, which at the beginning of most relationships give so much vividness and excitement will wear out over time for various reasons (live together, marry, and have children, empty nest, old age, loneliness and death).

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Why does this happen?

We should note that the relationships have some resemblance to a garden, as all those “little things” that have from the beginning, if not maintained or reinvent themselves in the next stages, as we do with our garden, when you fertilize and water them, they will wear out and can lead to separation, or even live together, but be separated emotionally. In addition, the emotional investment of both members of the couple is also something to consider, as an imbalance may originate from any of them.

For example, while you keep the attentions, gestures of affection, concern and support, the other can be tiring, generating this imbalance, wherein the weight ratio falls only on one of the members. Thus, when a person makes an emotional investment and feels unrequited, they are producing wounds that go away gradually to the couple.

What can we do when this happens? How do I fix it?

First, we must consider that conflicts or disputes are inherent in the couple, who one way or another always will be present. It is logical, if we consider that every human being is unique and unrepeatable, and keeps often views, opinions and needs. The key is to know how to fix it in the best way possible for both, of course with enthusiasm and effort.

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Some tips to keep relationships alive

• Continue to maintain the element of surprise. When a person feels secure another partner, it will forget the surprise factor of the relationship, to go looking for new ways of living together to give the new flavor to the interactions of both.
• Dedicate one exclusive time for the couple.
• Keep one positive view of another despite conflicts. We are a team and performance is the responsibility of both.
• To know how to give and receive.
• Respect the spaces other.
• Learning to know and respect the individuality of each.
• Innovate both social, and psychological and sexual.
• To express what you feel, want, or need, and acknowledge mistakes. That is, communicate. Finally, we must consider that each couple is different, with different emotional and behavioral patterns, sometimes sharing with other positive or negative characteristics, depending on the personality of both members as well as the cultural context to which they belong. The important thing is to accept your partner as is, not trying to change the other according to our “mold” because it’s not about that. That is the key partner relationships